TEENY TINY BIT OF LIES!

I must say that I sincerely apologize for the late post. I was engaged in a lot of activities over the weekend which made it quite impossible to put up this post at the usual time. But as the saying goes, “there’s always a silver lining in a dark cloud”. In the dark clouds of my busy schedule, there came a silver lining of a topic to talk about today. 

First off, have you ever been in a situation especially in your relationship where lying is the only way to lessen the aggravation of the situation? In that case is it a justification to tell “white lies”? I mean we all do tell white lies at some points in our relationship. We say “I’m OK” when in actual fact we are not or even say thank you for gifts we deep down do not appreciate. I’m not a relationship expert though, but at least I’ve grown in my relationship to know that trust is fragile and that secrets and lies only come to jeopardize and destroy a perfect relationship. 

“In an intimate relationship, emotional honesty includes allowing our partner to know who we are. Honesty is more than simply not lying. Deception includes making ambiguous or vague statements, telling half-truths, manipulating information through emphasis, exaggeration, or minimization, and withholding feelings or information that is important to someone who has a right to know, because it affects the relationship and deprives that person of freedom of choice and informed action.”(Source: psychologytoday.com)

Lying to the one person you love really s**ks (excuse my language). But seriously it isn’t really cool. No one ever intentionally purposes in their heart to lie to their partner but we nevertheless find ourselves doing it. It’s because we start by telling small “white lies” which we often overlook but they gradually become breeding grounds for the bigger lies we tell. The truth is, I lied to my boyfriend about something. It wasn’t exactly bad but I felt that by telling that lie it was just going to tone down his anger. Here is the case where I’m such a terrible liar and so I was caught. He was hurt. Talking to him, I realized that the hurt wasn’t because of what I did but the fact that I lied blatantly to his face. I honestly was sad and disappointed in myself. I mean the truth is one, why don’t you just say it and avoid the costs of lying. You probably don’t know exactly what the cost of lying is. I’ll help you here. When you tell lies to your partner: 

1.       You feel guilty and uncomfortable when certain topics in relation to your lies come up

2.       You create cover-up lies which becomes hard to remember and keep up

3.       You affect your emotional and self- confidence

4.       When you get caught, the entire situation is worsened!

What then do you do when you get caught up in a situation where you think lying is the only way? Simple! DON’T TELL A LIE! If you think telling the truth at that point will hurt your partner, create a diversion. Talk about something else and when temperatures have been cooled down you then tell your partner the truth. Trust me, this is way better than telling a lie. If your partner still insists on knowing, tell him or her the truth and deal with the aftermath calmly! The truth is always one and shall always set you free!

Trust is very crucial in a relationship. Don’t break it! A relationship without trust is only as good as dead! If you did something wrong, tell the truth and apologize plus, DON’T REPEAT IT!

LIVE, LOVE, LEARN AND TRUST!